MONSTROUS REGIMENT by TERRY PRATCHETT, adapted by Stephen Briggs, directed by Charles Lambert
Readthrough and Auditions:
Charles will be hosting a readthrough on the March clubnight, Monday 10th March 2025 at 1930h in the club rooms.
The auditions will be Friday 14th March at 1930h - for anyone who can’t make that date, please contact Charles to arrange an alternative. Production dates are 24-26 July and 30 July - 2 August 2025.
CHARACTERS
The Regiment
Polly “Ozzer” Perks Female, 20s or early 30s
Polly Perks has decided to in the Borogravian Tenth Foot regiment in order to search for her brother, Paul, who is missing in action. She decides to cut off her hair and disguise herself as a boy in order to join up. Polly is by far the “biggest” Character and is on stage for 95% of the show.
“Maladict” Maladicta Female, 20s or early 30s
A reformed Vampire, Maladict is elegantly dressed, and calmly confident. They have staved off their cravings for blood by transferring their obsession to coffee. We're looking for a subtle “Vampire” accent here. On for about 52% of the time but when on is a scene stealer.
Betty “Shufti” Manickle Female, 20s or early 30s
This girl has gone to war to find the boy who got her pregnant. She is a sweet hard working commoner who is a great cook. She will be the regiment's cook so will be carrying around cookware and wear a bandolier full of spices. She gets a lot of on stage time around 73%
“Igor” Igorina Female, 20s or early 30s
Will also consider any age and gender though the character is female)
This version of Igor is on the surface a very stereotypical “Igor”, lisping hunchback etc.
Tilda "Lofty" Tewt Female, 20s or early 30s
Lofty has come from the Girls' Working School before escaping with Tonker. The continuous bad treatment there turned her into an arsonist. Lofty is very quiet, hardly ever saying more than monosyllables; only Tonker seems to be able to get any sense out of her. She finds joy in fire, is always playing with matches, and can make explosive materials out of anything. She is in a relationship with Tonker. Lofty appears on stage for 72% of the time but has only a few actual lines.
Magda "Tonker" Halter Female, 20s or early 30s
She is another resident of the Girls' Working School, with Lofty Tewt and Wazzer Goom, where the school's brutal mistreatment of its residents had hardened her into a cynic with a barely-controlled temper. Tonker describes herself as having "no middle gears". While she is relatively talkative later on, she hardly gives any information about her own life, either while at the school or before.
Alice “Wazzer” Goom Female, Teen or early 20s
Wazzer is also from the Girls' School where she was beaten and abused. Logically she is the same age as the other girls but we are looking for someone who appears to be younger and more vulnerable. She is mostly as non-talkative as Lofty but when she speaks it's impactful. She is also possessed by the spirit of the long dead Duchess towards the end, so some dialogue will be enhanced with FX.
“Carborundum” Jade Female, Undetermined
Large, made of stone and talks slow and simple. Like the others, Jade is a girl pretending to be a boy troll but this will be a heavy makeup job so auditioning for this role is open to anyone.
Sergeant-Major Jack Jackrum Female, late 50s upwards
Spoiler Alert, the Sarge is also a woman but we want to keep this as a surprise as best we can – and she is supposed to be a very convincing man so we will cast a man. On stage for around about 50% the time, it's a crucial role. This soldier is an old hand, knows all the tricks. She carries herself with all the confidence that she is the smartest person in the room and is very put out by the Officer she is saddled with for daring to give orders and generally trying to lead.
Strappi Male, Late 20s, 30s early 40s
Quite frankly a snide little scumbag. At the start this weasel of a corporal (Anyone who has seen Pete Postlethwaite in Sharpe, this sort of thing) who seems to want to put everyone else down to build himself up. Secretly he is actually an officer in disguise but Captain Strappi is still just as bad.
Lieutenant Blouse Male, 30s or 40s
An inexperienced posh, public schoolboy type. Blouse is aiming to be an effective and brave leader of men but initially comes across as a bit of a Rupert.
The following roles will likely be doubled or even tripled up due to their number and reduced stage time:
Other Borogravian Soldiers
Scallot Male, 50s plus.
Old soldier, missing plenty of bits. Will need to wear an eyepatch, hook hand and should have the appearance of only having one leg. Couple of nice scenes towards the start.
Major Clogson Female, 50s plus
Clogson is a military lawyer. Like almost all Borogravian soldiers she is a woman disguised as a man - as such she acts very much as a typical soldier would.
Generals Froc, Kzupi and Derbi Female, 50s plus
These generals are all women who have been long term disguised as men. I think we're prepared to cast men in these roles depending on who is cast.
Tribunal Guard Male, Any Age
One of the play’s many nameless guards.
Offstage Officer
One line delivered offstage, possibly recorded.
Assorted “Extras”
Injured Soldiers in Act1 and Assorted Officers at the Tribunal in Act2.
Ankh-Morporkians
Vimes Male, 50s or 60s
Vimes is an iconic Pratchett character. He's a common as muck, working class policeman who has been given rank well above his station. Anyone who has seen the series Sharpe, that's what we're looking for. We do not want a repeat of the BBC America “Watch” version of Vimes!
Angua Female, Late 20s, 30s
Angua is Vimes' deputy in this play. She is a werewolf and comes from the same country as Maladict. Her accent should be something exotically eastern. She is a strong and confident police officer.
William DeWord Male, Late 20s to Early 40s
Writer and editor for the Anhk Morpork Times, a foreign (English accent) war reporter. DeWord is from a very well-to-do family and thus he is well spoken but down to earth.
Otto Male, Late 20s to Early 50s
A Vampire photographer for the Times. He speaks in a very broad Vampire accent, way more OTT then Maladict. On a par with Sesame Street's “The Count”
Rust Male, Late 50s, 60s, 70s
Very stereotypical posh old soldier. Sent along with Vimes he's the opposite of that character. Incredibly pompous, Think Captain Square from Dad's Army.
Zlobenians
Captain Horentz
Male, 20s, 30s, 40s
Captain Horentz is secretly the Prince and ruler of Zlobenia. Moustache-twirling, arch villain. Ideally some kind of Germanic accent.
Sergeant Lipshitz Male, 20s, 30s, 40s
Sergeant Towering Male, 20s, 30s, 40s
Both of these soldiers are stiff backed, they are quite serious but we're looking to lighten them up a bit with maybe a broad comedy accent - think the Germans from ‘Allo ‘Allo.
Guard 1, Guard 2, Keep Captain, Keep Guard Male, 20s, 30s, 40s
More nameless guards, will be cast from the company.
Others
Landlord
The dirty old barkeeper at the start of the play.
Mrs Enid Female, 50s plus
A screeching old washer woman. Basically an extreme and silly character.
Ferry Guard
Last of the guards
Rosemary, Mary
Two girls who have almost no lines.